


in case there's another storm

by daddymichaelis



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Eventual Smut, M/M, claudes a tough boy, kind of slow burn, mentions of past rape, pastel au babey, possibly more characters - Freeform, unrequited sebawill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-18 06:49:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14207478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddymichaelis/pseuds/daddymichaelis
Summary: Red-faced and shifting foot to foot, Claude bashfully held out a piece of paper between two trembling fingers. "I just thought... Um. In case there's another storm, you know?"





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> finally got off my ass and decided to make a real fic about my pride and joy, my pastel au!! thank you to my sebaclaude friends who have inspired me  
> butlerbfs.tumblr.com/tagged/pastel-au  
> also what is proofreading lol

Sebastian’s fingers curled around his pencil in a tight fist, staring out of the window. Rain poured down, and thunder rumbled menacingly in the distance. Walking into school, it was starting to drizzle, and he had been hoping it would calm down, but it only got worse.

Maybe he could tough it out; maybe he could just hold his breath and focus on work, but then lightning flashed and thunder followed immediately, and it sounded like it was directly above them. He couldn’t tough it out. He hopped up and sprinted out the door, barely remembering to grab the hall pass from it’s hook on the wall. The teacher didn’t try to stop him, and part of him wondered if they would laugh at him for running out.

Sebastian was already the subject of ridicule, and it was obvious that he would be running away from the storm.

He couldn’t bring himself to care in that moment, and he hurried into the nearest boy’s bathroom, slamming and locking the stall door behind him. Curling up on the floor, the boy buried his face in his trembling knees. It was all so overwhelming, it was all so loud and scary and right there, pounding in his ears, and he couldn’t do anything about it but sit there and cry. Then the bathroom door swung open with an announcing squeak, and his eyes opened wide. 

If he was caught crying in here, he could never live it down. Never in a million years, if he was caught crying on the bathroom floor, like a  _ baby _ , would this school let him forget it. Sniffling, Sebastian held his hand to his mouth and watched the shoes pace this way and that across the floor. He chewed on his palm and tried to just breathe, but he was so close, how could he calm down? 

And then those torn up, black Converse stopped right in front of his stall. 

Sebastian curled up further. He wished he could just disappear.

It felt like the whole world came to a stop, even the pounding storm outside, as the stranger knocked on the stall door.

“Hello?”

Did he reply? Was he supposed to? What would he say?

Tearfully, Sebastian managed out a weak, “H-Hi.”

“Are you crying in there?”

Why did it matter to him?

The surprisingly harsh and defensive response that immediately rose in his head shocked him, but he wouldn’t disagree with it. Why  _ did  _ it matter to this stranger if someone was crying in the bathroom?

Sebastian didn’t reply, and eventually the teen pressed on, “I could hear you. I know you were.”

The white-turned-grey toe of the Converse kicked at the ground lightly.

“Can I come in?”

Again, that mean response sprung to Sebastian’s lips.

Why did it matter to him?

“No,” he said, sniffling once more, “I don’t want you to.”

“But you’re crying. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Sebastian pulled the sleeves of his peach-patterned sweater over his hands, wiping at his cheeks. The rain picked up, knocking at the window again and again.

“But you’re crying,” the teen protested again. “I can’t just leave someone in here who’s crying.”

Claude really didn’t know what had gotten into him. He wasn’t usually this compassionate, or this caring, but there was something about knowing exactly who it was that was in there that made him feel guilty if he had just left the boy in there. There weren’t too many boys at this school who wore white tights and fluffy skirts, in his defense. He would’ve noticed Sebastian anywhere.

Sebastian still didn’t reply, but Claude still didn’t budge. 

Instead, he took a seat beside the stall, stretching his legs out with a sigh. First period was just getting started, anyways, he had plenty of time to kill. Idly, he picked at loose threads on his hoodie, and wondered why Sebastian was holed up in there. 

That guilt was growing. Of course he knew why Sebastian was hiding away. As if he didn’t see the way people snickered towards him and the way boys would trip him and take his things and insult him behind his back. Was this some God’s way of trying to get Claude to make right for his actions, to help him make up for all of those times he watched Sebastian getting picked on and he just turned away from him?

He was an idiot.

But then the lock of the stall opened, and slowly the door drifted open, to reveal a teary-eyed, red-nosed, mess of a boy. 

Sebastian’s stomach lurched a bit when he caught sight of who was waiting for him on the other side. He scooted back until his spine was digging into the porcelaine of the toilet. Claude never messed with him directly, but he and his friends always seemed to be around when it was happening. 

He tried to seem tough, sniffling and holding his chin up, but thunder rumbled and his lip started quivering.

“You’re afraid of storms.” 

Sebastian was in shambles. Tears hung to the rim of his circle-lense glasses, he was seconds away from crying, and there was nothing Claude could do about it.

Why was he so obsessed with fixing a problem he didn’t cause?

“Come here.. You can sit with me until it lets up,” he promised, opening his arms to Sebastian, who eyed them warily.

It could be a trap… As Sebastian contemplated it, he decided he’d rather take the risk than keep sitting here alone. He crawled forward into the offered arms, tense as a drawn bow, and he didn’t even relax a bit until they had sat in silence for a few minutes.

Maybe Claude really was just being nice, even though he didn’t seem like the type. 

Slowly, even as the storm continued on overhead, Sebastian relaxed into the older’s side, trying to focus on taking deep breaths. He wanted to say something to break up the silence, but he had nothing. He tried to not think about the fact that he was being held in public by a handsome boy. 


	2. chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again what is proofreading

The rain finally wholly let up, and Sebastian pulled away, wiping his nose with his sleeve. It was gross, but it was the easiest thing he could do right then. 

It felt a lot more awkward now that there was no reason for them to be together. Was there any reason in the first place?

“T-Thanks.” Sebastian stood up as the bell rung. He’d have to hurry and get his things before anyone got the chance to mess with his stuff, if they haven’t already. 

Claude rose to his feet once more and watched as the younger quickly adjusted his clothes, though tremors still ran through his hands and it made it difficult for him to properly pull up his tights, and he assumed the rush he was in wasn’t helping, either. 

“Yeah, it’s no problem… Are you okay?” 

He really was an idiot.

“Yep.” Sebastian sniffled again and bolted out without another word, and Claude was left to stand there, completely dumbfounded. 

Their time together had trudged along as slow as syrup, and now he was just alone and cold and that guilt was still eating at him. It wasn’t a big deal surely, since when was it  _ his  _ obligation to take care of someone else? Especially considering he didn’t even know him! 

Though Claude told himself it again and again, he found himself planted to where he stood, even when other boys came in and shoved by him to get to the urinals. 

It wasn’t his job to take care of Sebastian, it wasn’t, and Claude finally trudged out to sneak outside and smoke. 

During lunch, Sebastian hid away in the library. In his favorite corner, there was a big beanbag chair, and it was quiet, and no one ever came over there. He got to curl up and pull out his sketchbook and spend his free twenty-five minutes in promised peace. Most recent in his sketchbook was a study of shading with watercolors, so he decided to flip to a new page and start something all new. Humming softly, he chewed on the chapped skin of his lower lip as he absent-mindedly drew.

When he paused to check the time and take a step back and look at his drawing as a whole, he realized when he saw the eyebrow piercing and the cold eyes and the messy hair that he had made a mistake. Color was already rising to his cheeks and ears as he slammed the book shut and shoved it into his backpack. 

The bell rung, and there wasn’t enough time to worry why he had to draw  _ Claude  _ of all people. He can just throw away the paper when he got home.

Sebastian’s last class of the day was math, the only class he had friends in. Well, a friend. He wasn’t often there, between school field trips and this and that, but when he walked in to see him sitting there, he felt like there was a weight lifted off his shoulders. Seeing William was the always happiest part of his day.

“Hi,” he greeted with a heavy sigh, taking the seat next to him. Hopefully the teacher wouldn’t ask him to move back; the boy next to his assigned seat was always especially mean to him.

William looked up, and his face lit up at the sight of Sebastian, pupils dilating and cheeks flushing. “H-Hello!” 

It fell quiet between them, it always did, but Sebastian didn’t mind. He just took out his book and rested his head on his desk, and William couldn’t help but stare. The way his lashes fell against his cheeks and his glasses slipped down his nose, the way his pretty lips fell open… His heart could burst right there. 

“You’re gonna sleep through class,” he murmured, affectionate gaze only shifting when Sebastian’s eyes opened. 

“Promise you won’t wake me up if I do?”

“I promise.”

Of course, all of William insisted otherwise; as much as he had to help Sebastian with Algebra, there were no reason for him to be sleeping through class, or any reason for William to be condoning it, but that sweet voice was impossible to resist. 

He’d never be able to say no to Sebastian, and so he made no move to wake him, even as the bell rung, and as the teacher called role, and as they started into the lesson. Halfway through taking notes for both him and Sebastian, he looked over to take a moment and just admire. When William looked at him, it felt like they were the only two in the world that mattered. He always got that fluttering in his chest and he never had any answers for it. 

A jolt ran through Sebastian and William immediately flinched as well, scrambling to look away in time. Sebastian slowly sat up fully and rubbed his eyes, whining sleepily. 

As his friend focused on furiously taking notes, he looked over to him and smiled a bit. William really was kind, he was lucky to have a friend at all, but even more so, someone like him. Very gently, Sebastian set his hand on his arm, whispering, “Thank you.”

The touch sent tingles all throughout him and his heart pounded hard in his ears, but he just nodded and smiled in his direction before he focused back on writing. Class would end soon. He wished there was any free time to enjoy with Sebastian before it would be time to go. 

Until class ended, Sebastian just laid his head back down. He was so sleepy still from the event this morning. He could’ve fallen back asleep, but the lights were turned back on, and William very bashfully poked his shoulder, handing him a neatly-written page of notes. 

“Thank you,” Sebastian said again, covering his mouth as he yawned. “I promise I’ll make it up for you.”

Sebastian was one for promises.

William smiled even bigger this time as he nodded, waving his hand. “Oh, it’s alright. I don’t mind at all. I would do it whenever you asked.” Clearing his throat, he fixed his glasses and packed up his things, willing the burning heat in the tip of his ears to fade. 

“Still, thank you.”

Sebastian didn’t pay any mind to that blush, and he smiled big, folding his notes away before he stood up and slung his backpack over his shoulders. He and William didn’t really have anything in common, but sometimes he wished they did, so they could take about things that weren’t math. The bell rung, he thanked William for the fourth time, and he watched all the students leave. Sebastian wasn’t in the mood to get picked on right now, so he waited until the initial release crowd had cleared out before he even thought about leaving. Peeking out of the window, he saw that most students were just waiting for their parents, and the ones he had to worry about were probably already gone by then.

Saying goodbye to his teacher, he smiled shyly and left slowly. Sebastian didn’t have anywhere in particular to be, and he wanted to be as sure as possible that he could walk home without any problems.

And he was certain that there weren’t going to be any problems, until he was almost out of the front doors, and he walked straight into someone with torn up, black converse and a frayed hoodie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you came to this chapter expecting sebaclaude, u were mistaken lol  
> butlerbfs.tumblr.com  
> akours.tumblr.com


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a super short, claude-centric chapter... just wanted to update before school started again and i got too busy lol  
> again, what the fuck is proofreading

Claude swore he couldn’t find a way to avoid Sebastian after this morning. He saw him leaving the library and he saw him during every class change today, and he couldn’t figure out why this kid was on his brain so much today. Maybe it was still just that guilt. There wasn’t any other possible reason. 

And then he was halfway home, realized he forgot his headphones in his locker, came back to school to get them, and promptly slammed straight into the boy who had been roaming his thoughts all day. Was this those Gods’ way of karma?

“Oh. Sorry.” Claude cleared his throat and, without even thinking, he scrambled to get out of the way, holding the door open for Sebastian. 

With flushed cheeks and a pounding heart, Sebastian mumbled a, “Thank you..” before he hurried out, holding to the straps of his backpack. He thought he was totally, definitely, certainly in the clear of danger now, with Claude behind him and the mean kids most likely totally cleared out from the area, and then there was a hand squeezing his shoulder. Tensing up, Sebastian looked back.

Of course it was Claude. 

“Um…” 

When Claude realized what he’d done, and how tense Sebastian was beneath his touch, he instantly let go, and, to his utter discontent, his face was heating up. 

“I’m- I’m sorry,” he mumbled. When Sebastian stared up at him like that and the light hit his eyes to make brown light up to liquid gold, he couldn’t have a single coherent thought if he tried. He was just as melty as the carmel gazing up at him.

Claude’s chest tightened and he gulped as he quickly tried to think of what was on the tip of his tongue earlier. “See, I..”

What  _ was  _ he going to say?

Sebastian was starting to inch away slowly and he took a step forward to meet him, fists balling to resist the urge to hold to his shoulder once more. He couldn’t have this opportunity just slip through his fingers. 

“Sorry,” Claude apologized again, shifting foot to foot, “I just. I wanted to, um, say… I won’t tell anyone about, you know. Earlier.”

That wasn’t what he wanted to say at all!

Still, Sebastian let out a small, bashful smile with a grateful nod, and maybe that was the right thing to do, after all.

“Thank you,” Sebastian said softly, glancing up to meet his gaze. “Um.. I’ll- I’ll see you later.” He ran off. Claude had no reason to keep him around any longer, and so he had to just watch him walk down the school sidewalk and wish he had something else to say to Sebastian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> butlerbfs.tumblr.com  
> akours.tumblr.com  
> updates may be weekly or a little more far apart than that, schools starting tomorrow and i will have 0 energy. pray for me


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no proofreading, again

Claude hoped that would be the end of it. 

But of course, he was dead fucking wrong.

He saw him the next day at his locker, and in homeroom, and in between classes, and scurrying into the library at lunch. (Who knew they had the same lunch?) And he saw Sebastian get cornered after school and get kicked to the ground, and Claude watched as fists raised and that was when it was too much. 

What kind of a man was he?

Who did he think he was, to let Sebastian suffer, because he was  _ afraid  _ of him?

Why was he afraid, anyways?

Claude’s head ached as he sped down the road, gripping the handlebars of his bike. These questions hammered at his skull. Swallowing hard, the teen turned onto the street right before his house. It was a short dead end that lead to a mostly unused park. He rarely went here anymore, but he really needed a smoke after today.

Parking his bike and sliding off his helmet, he headed over to the swings, tossing his backpack onto the mulch near his feet. Claude retrieved one of his joints from the little metal case that resided in his pocket and lit it, breathing in deep as he stared up at the sky. It was beginning to look like it was going to rain, but he wasn’t in any hurry. Riding in the rain was hardly an inconvenience to him.

Towards the end of his joint, he was finally relaxing and becoming pleasantly high. Claude could finally answer those questions without feeling like he was about to have a heart attack.

He could really go for a burger right now.

With a deep sigh, he rested his head against the chain of his swing. All the way down near the sidewalk, he could see someone walking towards him, but he didn’t care much, his joint was just a little butt by now, anyways. Shutting his eyes, his mind drifted back to Sebastian. So soft and warm, pressed against his side… Those pink cheeks and the wide eyes that watched him so carefully… 

His eyes snapped open. A droplet of rain fell on his nose. Well, that worked out well. Claude worked hard to ignore how his heart was pounding, grabbing his back and heading back towards the sidewalk. Drawing nearer, he could make out whoever was coming his way, and he swore God just hated him at this point.

Sebastian.

Should he turn around? Should he ignore him? Should he just  _ melt into the fucking ground and hide away?  _ That last option sounded very appealing.

Claude’s throat closed up. 

Sebastian’s back was hunched, and he couldn’t see well, but he could make out a vague form of a bruise near his jaw. His cheeks were red and his eyes were puffy.

There was no way he could ignore that. It was his fault, too, that Sebastian was so beat up, because he was too scared to confront the tightening in his chest and the fluttering in his stomach every time he saw that angel.

Though his walking slowed down, Sebastian’s sped up, and he walked straight past him. Claude reached out and grabbed his shoulder and, just like yesterday, Sebastian’s body tensed beneath his hand. 

“Sebastian…” Claude forced himself to let go, and he prayed that God would have mercy on him and make sure that Sebastian didn’t know what he didn’t do, that he didn’t see Claude run away from the scene like a frightened puppy. “Are you okay?”

The question sent a cold chill through Sebastian like someone had just put ice down his shirt, and the rain really started right then. Sniffling quietly, he nodded, though he didn’t dare turn to face Claude. 

“Where are you going?” 

“H-Home.” 

“There’s nothing but a park and field that direction. Sebastian, where are you going?”

It wasn’t his business. Claude knew that, but he couldn’t help it. Even though he acted like a coward earlier, he wanted to make up for it now, even if just by giving Sebastian a ride home. 

There was no response, and, ignoring how terror built up in him, Claude touched his arm once more. “Let me help… Look at me.”

Quick to wipe his eyes on his sleeves, Sebastian turned his chin up a bit. There was dried blood on his upper lip, and his eyes were shiny with tears. It felt so humiliating for Claude to see him like this, and his cheeks burned deeper. He tried to not cry more, or to wiggle away from the hand on his forearm.

“Come with me. Let me take you home, or let me take you to my house and take care of this.”

Sebastian shook his head. God, why was he so scared of being helped?

What was he so afraid of?

Guilt crashed over him in waves. Someone was kind enough to offer help, and he wouldn’t take it. One day, he was going to need genuine help, and he wasn’t going to have anyone willing.

“The.. The motorcycle scares me,” the boy whispered quietly, wrapping his arms around himself. 

Claude reached back and rummaged in his backpack, pulling out a mini umbrella. Carefully, he opened it up and held it over Sebastian’s head. “Then I’ll walk you home.”

This guy’s kindness really wasn’t helping with Sebastian’s goal to not cry in front of him again. He wasn’t deserving of something so nice, and it made him feel like he was going to fall apart right there. Lower lip quivering, he knew if he opened his mouth, he would start crying, so he just nodded silently, and allowed Claude to lead him back to the sidewalk. 

“You sure you don’t want to ride the bike? It’ll be a lot faster, I promise I won’t crash.” Claude smiled gently, but Sebastian never looked up from the sidewalk. 

“I-” Sebastian voice cracked and he immediately covered his mouth to try and collect himself. He squeezed his teary eyes shut. He was so overwhelmed. All he wanted to do was hug Claude, but he was so scared. He had no right to hug a stranger.

“I… w-want to… walk home,” he mumbled, shivering. “You don’t have t-to help.”

“Of course I want to help.” This softness for Sebastian came so easy for him, and he had no idea why. Sebastian was a boy. He told himself he would do this for anybody. He would, surely, wouldn’t he?

“I’m not going to let you walk home, injured, in the rain, by yourself. I’m sorry, but I won’t.”

Claude nearly dropped the umbrella when two small arms wrapped around his midsection and clung tight, a face buried in his chest. He prayed, for the billionth time that day, that Sebastian wouldn’t hear his racing heart as he hugged back.

“I’ve got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter they'll actually take care of sebs injuries  
> akours.tumblr.com  
> butlerbfs.tumblr.com


	5. chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im stuck up late with wisdom tooth pain, heres this with no proofreading

Sebastian found it more than difficult to make himself pull away, even as he realized Claude smelled like pot and even as it started to fully rain. When he found it in himself to let go, he sniffled and glanced over towards the bike. Was it alright for it to just sit in the rain like that?

“Um…” He cleared his throat. “Is- Is it very safe t-to ride..?”

“Yeah,” Claude answered immediately, shuffling closer so the umbrella could cover them both, at least a little bit, “I’ve been driving for two years now.”

“Then I… I guess I’ll try to ride with you.”

Claude smiled brightly. 

They slowly worked it out so that Sebastian wore Claude’s helmet, just in case, and clung to him with one arm while holding the umbrella with his free hand. He was scared he was going to fall off, or that they were going to crash. It was scary to willingly put his safety in someone else’s hands. It was hard. 

The arm around Claude’s waist held tight, and, for extra precaution, he gripped some of his shirt in his fist, too. Luckily for him, Claude went nice and slow, and his house was pretty close. As Sebastian very carefully slid off the seat, he thought about how proud of himself he was, accepting help and letting himself be driven home and, most importantly, not dying on the way there. He followed Claude inside and wrapped his arms around himself, the air conditioning greeting him sending a shiver through his soaking wet body. 

Cradling his bruised tummy and ribs, he let the other lead him down the hall to the bathroom, staying quiet as he was slowly taken care of. Sebastian sniffled quietly, wincing when Claude’s fingers brushed up against a more sensitive spot. His mouth tasted like blood. As he was cleaned up, he would sneak little looks at Claude, and he felt his heart skip a beat or three. His brows were furrowed in concentration, and it was obvious how hard he was trying to stay ginger and soft with his touches.

He was so grateful for Claude, and he was so grateful that it wasn’t a full out storm. Sebastian wasn’t ready to cry in front of him for a third time.

“Which guys did this to you?” Claude asked after a long while of silence, sitting back on his heels. 

Sebastian shrugged and stayed quiet, playing with the dripping hem of his skirt. As grateful as he was for the help, he was more than a little unwilling to talk about it. Feeling eyes on him, he just sniffled again and wiped fresh blood from his nose on his sleeve and tried to ignore how timid and mousy he felt.

He studied Sebastian’s face for a moment before getting up to find an ice pack. Coming back and handing it to him, he took a seat in front of the boy once more. “Your nose is probably bruised. Keeping it iced for a while would be smart.”

The pain medicine Claude gave him was helping his jaw from being an aching mess for the time being, so he leaned against the back of the toilet and held it to his nose, looking everywhere except the boy in front of him. Staying brave like he was on the bike was hard. Sebastian was ready to just curl up and hide away. 

“I’ll teach them a lesson,” Claude murmured, watching him carefully for a reaction. “Tell me who did this and I’ll make them sorry.” 

Sebastian was the first thing he wanted to protect. He had to start being a man and actually doing it. He couldn’t keep being scared.

“I will. Promise.”

He quickly shook his head, gnawing on his lip. “Please don’t,” Sebastian whispered, shutting his eyes. “It’ll m-make everything worse, and- and… then they’ll get re-real angry.” His cheeks heated up. His stutter mortified him more than anything ever could. He wished he could just get out what he wanted to say. “Please don’t.”

“But it’s what they deserve.” Claude’s anger was starting to come up again. He didn’t realized it showed in his voice until Sebastian flinched, and he felt like guilt was going to choke him out. He was so mad, he was so mad that someone would hurt Sebastian, and he was so mad at himself for not stopping it, and he was even madder at himself for getting these feelings in his chest. “I’m sorry. I just… They’re sending you halfway to death, Sebastian, don’t you think they need to be taught a lesson? I…” He hesitated. If speaking things into existence was real, maybe if he didn’t say it, it would just go away. But he just couldn’t bite his tongue. “I want to protect you.”

If God pulled the wool over Sebastian’s eyes, he was going to ruin it now.

“I saw it happening, earlier… I was too scared to do anything. But now… I want to. I want to keep you safe, I want to make up for the times I didn’t do anything, it’s been tearing me up knowing that this is happening to you and I…”

Claude’s throat closed up, and he looked down to the floor. Guilt really was going to choke him out now. He didn’t want to start crying, but the thought of meeting Sebastian’s gaze as he told him that he had watched him get beaten, time and time again, was overwhelming. He could see each time it happened in his eyes, he could feel the terror in how large and glassy Sebastian’s stare was. If only he had stepped up…

“I need to make it right,” he choked out, resting his forehead lightly against the boy’s knee as tears rolled down his face. “I have to, I’m so, so sorry…”

Sebastian’s eyes widened at the dismal confession, his hands clenching to fists. He felt a little mad right then, less sad, less self-deprecating, and more infuriated. He wanted to know how people could watch this happen, how they could just  _ let  _ it happen, how could someone see a person getting pummeled into the ground and just ignore it. It felt unfair.

And, despite this… 

His lower lip quivered. Damn his empathy. 

Setting his ice pack aside, he tentatively settled a hand on top of Claude’s head. Something inside him hurt at seeing him cry. “It’s okay,” Sebastian whispered, and Claude visually shuddered, sobbing softly. “It’s okay.”

Claude peeked up at him, and his chest ached at the sight of those eyes all glassy and teary again. 

“It’s okay,” Sebastian promised with a weak smile, even as he blinked and tears fell and caught onto the rims of his glasses, even though it wasn’t. “I understand.” He didn’t think he could ever understand, but he didn’t want Claude to cry. 

Pulling away, he wiped his eyes and cheeks off with the backs of his hands before standing up, looking down at Sebastian. 

“Can I hug you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> butlerbfs.tumblr.com  
> akours.tumblr.com


	6. chapter 6

There was something about being asked that sent a happy, flustered flush through him head to toe. Clearing his throat and shifting side to side, he looked away. 

“Y-Yeah.” 

Sebastian was a little scared. Claude had thoroughly proved himself of being able to be trusted, and being kind, but that didn’t change the fact that he was the tallest man he had ever met and that he seemed  _ very  _ strong. They’d hugged earlier, but people always act different at home than they did in public. He slowly stood on his shaky legs, and immediately he was enveloped in a warm hug. 

Claude’s athletic build wasn’t as scary then, because his arms wrapped around Sebastian’s waist were gentle, hands settled on the small of his back to gently press him close. The boy let out a long, shaky sigh and hugged him back, clutching the back of his shirt so tight his knuckles turned white. The tears that had pooled in his eyes were rolling down his cheeks steadily then, and he cried into Claude’s chest.

Being alone, and finally able to fully exhale and let it out felt so good. Everything hurt, his nose and jaw and ribs and stomach hurt, but his chest ached in a different way. Sebastian felt like he was going to fall apart if he let go. 

Claude looked down at him and watched for a moment. He could only imagine how difficult it was for him to be this vulnerable, and it was making tears blur his vision once more. Despite his confession and the promise that things would be different, despite Sebastian telling him himself that it was okay, his guilt felt worse now than ever, and he buried his face in his hair. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, I… I should’ve done something, I should’ve…” Claude cried into the top of his head, and he wanted to squeeze Sebastian as tight as he could to try and show just how horrible he felt about it, but he knew that it would just serve to scare him. “I’m going to protect you. I’m going to.”

He pulled away, and one hand slid to cup Sebastian’s jaw, coaxing him to meet his gaze. Claude’s thumb ran over his cheekbone, and if he was overcome with an urge to kiss him, between their closeness both physically and emotionally. But he wasn’t going to. Because he was  _ definitely  _ straight, and kissing another boy wouldn’t be quite so straight. So he just enjoyed the connection that sparked when their eyes met, and gave him a weak smile. 

“Understand?” 

Sebastian’s cheeks were heating up, and he was absolutely positive Claude could feel it. His throat was closing and all he could hear was his blood rushing. Lower lip quivering, he gave a bashful little nod and pulled away so he could have his thoughts in order again. He stared at himself in the mirror, and a weird feeling went over him. Seeing himself all pressed against a guy, rigorously beat up, made nausea and disgust well up inside him, rather than the happy butterflies that filled him when Claude hugged him.

He didn’t know why it made him feel so weird inside. Maybe he was imposing on Claude’s comfort.

“I… I should get home soon,” he whispered, taking a step back and playing with his fingers. “Thank you for helping me.”

Claude felt a little panic as he saw a shift in emotion, and he was quick to catch Sebastian’s hand, holding it tight. “Wait, it’s still raining.”

“That’s okay. My house is close.” Sebastian nodded again insistently, and he stared at their hands. He couldn’t bring himself to pull away again just yet. “I’ll… see you around?” Still, he stayed right where he was, because through his fear, he wasn’t ready to be alone again just yet.

Claude didn’t have any other reason to want him to stay, besides just wanting to spend time with him, but that wasn’t so easy to vocalize. He thought about how long he had been holding Sebastian’s hand, and he promptly dropped it, opening the bathroom door for him. “Okay. Take that ice pack with you, too, okay?”

With a quick nod, he grabbed the perspiring block and headed out into the hall, where his backpack was waiting for him near the door. Claude followed behind him, and took him to the front door, pushing his umbrella into his hand. 

“This, too. You’ll be soaked by the time you get home.” He couldn’t help the way his voice turned affectionately soft. “And, um…”

Sebastian, waiting for him to continue so he could protest that he didn’t need the umbrella, pulled on his backpack and pressed the ice pack to his nose. It dripped down his hand and wrist, but the cold slowly numbed the pain, and it made him sigh in relief.

“Um. I was thinking that I could give you my number,” Claude continued after a moment, and shame washed over him at how  _ flustered  _ the idea of giving his number to Sebastian made him. It wasn’t like he was asking him out on a date. However, when he looked up to see the boy just about as bashful as he felt, he relaxed some when he realized he wasn’t so alone with the feeling he was having.

There was that blood rushing in his ears again. Sebastian shifted foot to foot, before switching the ice pack to his other hand and fishing his phone out of his pocket, holding it out to him. When it was returned, he bit his lip and glanced up at Claude through his lashes. 

“You know,” Claude hurried to explain, though the words weren’t coming to him quite as fast as he hoped they would. “In case, like… there’s another storm. It’s coming down pretty hard now, and all…”

“Yeah.” Sebastian nodded, and forgot about his plan to return the umbrella. He was ready to leave so he could process it all. “See you l-later?”

“Yeah. See you later.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> roll credits  
> butlerbfs.tumblr.com  
> akours.tumblr.com


	7. chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just a short little chapter to show that i'm still alive :0 the ending notes have info about commissions if you would wanna commission me for a fic, so please do check it out or tell someone you know who might be interested in it!

Claude would be ashamed to admit how often he was checking his phone. Again, and again, and again, because it was forecasted to rain all night and into tomorrow, though it wasn’t exactly  _ storming _ . He checked his phone seconds after Sebastian left, and he checked it again ten minutes later, and he jumped to grab it when he heard the rain pick up. But Sebastian didn’t message, no matter how bad he wanted him to, and Claude knew it was silly to be emotionally invested in a text, so he tried to push it out of his mind as best he could.

Sebastian would message when he wanted to, and he couldn’t do anything to change that.

Despite telling himself that, and agreeing with it, he still checked his phone often. Any text that he got would disappoint him because none of them were the one person he was craving to talk to. 

The next few days in school, he would see Sebastian every corner he turned, and it felt like he couldn’t get away from him. And Sebastian would give him this odd stare whenever they collided like that, whether it was turning the same corner at the same time or it was passing each other at their lockers, or seeing the other at the end of the hall as they went to fifth period. Claude couldn’t figure it out. He didn’t do anything  _ wrong,  _ he thought, besides caring too much. 

Claude’s confusion was solved when, on the way to lunch nearly a week later, he felt a little tug to his sleeve. His initial reaction being annoyance, because why was he being bothered right now, and he turned with his upper lip curled in annoyance, but he immediately regretted it when he saw it was Sebastian. 

“Oh. Hey.” Claude stepped aside, closer to the wall and further from the crowd of students pushing down the hallway, and tilted his head to the side. Sebastian didn’t look more injured, and his bruises from last week were thankfully starting to heal, which settled an anxiety that rested deep in his stomach. “What’s wrong?”

“I… just thought I needed to return this,” Sebastian replied, his shoulders hunched and body curled inwards, scooting as far away from everyone that was pushing their way down to the cafeteria. He held out Claude’s umbrella, and gave a swift nod, before promptly turning to hurry in the opposite direction. 

“Wait!” Against all better judgement and previous experience, he reached out and grabbed Sebastian’s wrist, and let go fast when he felt the boy go rigid. 

“I’m sorry,” Claude said when Sebastian finally turned to look at him once more, “I just, sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out. I was wondering if you wanted to sit outside with me. Today’s a nice day.”

He watched the way Sebastian’s eyes traced the tiles of the floor rather than meet his awaiting gaze, and frowned a bit. Maybe he really did do something wrong, and more than being worried about what he did, he worried about why it mattered so much.

“Won’t you be bothered being seen someone like me?” Came the soft reply, and Claude could’ve laughed.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I did. Come on.”

So Sebastian just nodded and let the teen lead him out the doors next to the cafeteria. Claude was right -- the sun was out and it was comfortable outside, though it was a little chilly if the wind blew too hard. Because of that, and because of the rain and it being colder the past week, the courtyard was empty. Claude took them to the picnic table that was right in the sun, and sat down, settling his backpack next to him on the seat. 

“Listen, I was wondering…” He hated how insecure he was getting. Since when did someone texting or not texting him affect him so much? “...I was wondering… You never texted me, I wanted to know why. I gave you my number for a reason.”

Sebastian’s eyes widened in surprise. He never really thought that Claude  _ wanted  _ him to message, that it was just a gesture made in the moment and that didn’t really mean anything towards how he really felt. He could’ve done it just because he felt guilty. 

“Well… I thought…” Saying it out loud made it seem a lot stupider than it was. “I thought you didn’t want me to. So I didn’t.” Even though he wanted to, even though he was kept up until the early hours of the morning because of the way the rain hit his bedroom windows too hard. 

Claude was more than surprised at his confession, and for a moment he felt even more guilty. He’d waited so long to reach out to Sebastian that now he was under the impression that even breathing as probably a burden on someone, somewhere. It gave him the weirdest urge to comfort him, to reach out and hold his hands and tell him that he was dying to talk to Sebastian again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good news everyone i'm doing commissions :D it costs $5, then every 1k words is an extra $10!! i write other fandoms besides black butler too, and i can do nsfw as well as long as you're over 18! if you're interested in commissioning me for a fic, message me at one of these places and lets talk about it <3  
> discord - Ok furukawa#5214  
> kik - uglykuro  
> tumblr - michaeliism  
> in other news, hopefully i will be able to start updating this fic again soon. i stopped out of discouragement and lack of an audience's interest but i figured i would try to start again!!


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